Wednesday, January 21, 2009

NIGHTMARES !!!



Body count: 3 (plus one Satan truck)

Sure, that's not the killin'-est total we've ever enjoyed, but there were plenty of supernatural shenanigans to keep us distracted from a slow night at the morgue. Devil rats, devil trucks and the devilishly good looks of Emilio Estevez were all on glowing display.

In the pantheon of horror anthologies, one thing that makes NIGHTMARES so rare n' special is the fact that it boldly forgoes any kind of wraparound framing story. This is unusual. Except for the really awkward NY anthology MANIA: EPISODES IN TERROR, I can't think of a single other example. But NIGHTMARES don't give a hoot...it opens, sinister demon eyes take a wild ride across a barren wasteland and BAM!...you're thrust into the first of four rampagingly stunted-yet-ambitious tales of mortal terror.

In regards to the stories, I can sincerely say that I like every single one as if they were my own children. But a couple moments worth noting: Emilio Estevez' white-knuckle screaming match with his dad in the living room is very likely the most believable father/son argument I've ever seen in any movie, including award-winning family dramas. Not that I watch a lot of those. Whaddaya think, I'm a wussy? But still, I'm just saying. And the mighty Lance Henriksen is as unassailable as always as the fallen priest taking on a 4-wheel-drive Mephistopheles. I particularly savor the moment after the demonmobile's evaporation, where Henriksen stands bloodied and unblinking in the middle of the road before doing a heart-attack faceplant in the dust. Give that man an Oscar AND some Skittles.

Y'all probably better be at tonight's Weird Wednesday presentation of THE DAY TIME ENDED. It's flawless, though my pal Alamo projection master Sean pointed out that the name makes no sense. I mean, if you're speaking in past-tense about when time ended, you're immediately placing that day into the context of history, but with time all defunct, you're just not supposed to do that. Not to mentionj the fact that "day" is a unit of time as well.

Fuck it. The movie has a stop-motion monster and that's all that matters in this useless goddamn world.

Love you,
Grandma

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Werewolf queen Sybil Danning at Terror Tuesday # 1!!!


If one Terror Thursday movie truly tore the roof off the theater, it was HOWLING 2. People were obliterated by the sheer force of undistilled entertainment. So when it came time to christen Terror Tuesday on its maiden journey, the choice for that evening's feature was obvious...we had to once again venture into The Dark Country (Transylvania) with monster hunter Stefan Crosscoe (Christopher Lee) to battle the immortal forces of black-hearted lycanthropy (werewolves) led by Stirba, the Ruler of Beasts (SYBIL DANNING!!!)

What could make an evening better? Well, due to the deeply respectable cinematic obsession of selfless Alamo supporter Reb Hibbert, the impossible happened, and we were joined by Stirba herself to kick off one of the finest screenings that this otherwise barren planet has ever known. Sybil Danning was a most gracious guest, her casual and easy-going manner belying the vicious, no-nonsense shape-shifting annihilator she played on screen. Salutes to everyone who was there, with special capital thanks to people with the last name Danning and Hibbert.

Photographic evidence of this monumental event is above. Please ignore the goofball on the right.

- Z